


i really think it's guts that matter most.

by SonicPerfection



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-26
Updated: 2020-02-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:28:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22901707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SonicPerfection/pseuds/SonicPerfection
Summary: The tingling flame of jealousy ignites in her chest at the concern in Jester's eyes and the tenderness of her hold on Fjord. To Jester, he was the hero of her story, her fated love, but Beau would take hit after hit for just the graze of Jester’s fingertips on her skin. She would die for that look.
Relationships: Jester Lavorre/Beauregard Lionett
Comments: 2
Kudos: 90





	i really think it's guts that matter most.

Blood pours down Beau's face from a jagged split in her brow. The crimson flow stings her eyes and fills her mouth. A blow from the latest horror they were fighting managed to make contact with the side of her face and send her flying across this godforsaken crypt. Currently, she is splayed out on the floor trying to make the room stop spinning.

The haste spell Caleb had sent out in the beginning of this battle still thrums in her veins, but she feels the energy starting to drain. She knows the signs of the come down after being caught off guard one too many times. Maybe that last hit knocked some of the juice out of her?

Beau's thoughts are interrupted by a muffled voice calling her name. She turns her head toward the voice but her vision is blurred. She swipes at the blood in her eyes as she slurs back to them.

"Ihmp fhine. Juss needa sec.”

Copper sputters from her lips as she speaks.

She closes her eyes to center herself. Nicodranas materializes behind her eyelids. Flashes of purple eyes, sharp smiles, and blue, freckled skin soon follow. Her bloodied hands scrape against the stone floor as she pushes herself up slowly. When she is finally stable on her feet, she opens her eyes to see Jester hovering over a prone Fjord. Her hands are delicately cupping his face. 

The scene before her sends opposing emotions coursing through her veins. The tingling flame of jealousy ignites in her chest at the concern in Jester's eyes and the tenderness of her hold on Fjord. To Jester, he was the hero of her story, her fated love, but Beau would take hit after hit for just the graze of Jester’s fingertips on her skin. She would die for that look. 

Would he?

The fire consumes her for a second before the icy feel of dread sets in. Fjord is really hurt right now. She should be worried first, not resentful. With the fog of envy gone, she looks around at the rest of the Nein. They all look wobbly on their feet with exhaustion etched into their faces.

Nott is leaning against Caleb's leg with her crossbow hanging limply in her hand. Her eyes look unfocused, as if she is readjusting to consciousness. Caleb drops an empty potion bottle and starts to cast. His arms seem weighed down. The toll of excessive magic visible in his sluggish movements. Cadueces leans heavily on his staff and whispers into the amethyst on top. His lips move quickly against it. The desperation is easy to read even though the words are not. Yasha’s ivory skin is marred with numerous weeping gashes. Red trails behind her as she stumbles towards the rest of the group. The fire of rage in her eyes quickly is turning to cooling embers. 

This is bad.

Movement in the corner of her eye catches her attention. Her focus shifts towards it. The monster is readying another attack as it glares at its target. She follows its line of sight and lands directly on Jester pulling Fjord back up to his feet. She has her back to it as she steadies him in front of her. She is distracted, vulnerable. 

Instinct takes over. Beau has to protect her family; protect _her_. 

She sprints toward the danger immediately. Time slows as she runs. When she reaches the monstrosity, she hits it with a sickening _thwack_ of her staff. It snaps it’s gaze from Fjord and Jester to her. The burning hatred in it’s eyes sends a shiver down her spine, like her body knows what’s to come won’t be good, but she delivers another desperate blow nonetheless. She needs it to focus on her. _Pop_. Her hand lands with a heavy thud but the monster doesn’t even flinch. _Pop_. She hopes that the damage is enough. She may not be the strongest but she always had the uncanny ability of making everyone hate her. She hopes this thing absolutely despises her. _Pop_. After she lands her final attack, she feels the last dredges of haste leave her body.

Her time is up.

She returns the abomination's powerful gaze and waits. 

It turns to fully face her. The rest of the fight around her softens. The sounds dampen and the edges of her vision blur. All she can see is the promise of destruction in the cloudy eyes of this monster. The defiant tilt of her chin and the fire in her eyes beg for it. She wants it to fulfill that promise to her and only her. Not her friends. Especially not Jester.

Rotten, jagged teeth are bared as the smell of death wafts onto her face. She never really planned a future. Before the Nein, she never thought she would have one. She doesn’t look at the monster as it rears back. Jester’s face is the last image she wants in her mind. She looks just past its towering form and locks eyes with the woman she loves. 

Beau never really allowed herself to think she loved Jester. She always wanted to be wrong. She never really had a best friend before. Maybe it was supposed to feel like they were your center, your stillness of mind? Deep down, she knew the truth. Fjord and Caleb knew her almost as well but her love for them never had the same depth.

She yearned for Jester in every moment: when they would whisper conspiratorially about some silly plan, when they would lean into each other as they shared some of their loneliest memories, even when they simply slept in the same room. Jester made her want a future, but happiness was never meant for Beau. All she could do was protect the one who made it seem possible. Right now, Jester is just as beautiful as ever, even with horror reflected in her lavender eyes. 

Suddenly, everything is pain, a promise fulfilled. Beau’s life was grit and blood. Poetic that it should end the same. 

She hears Jester scream. Her voice breaks as she says Beau's name. It's fulfilling somehow.

Now she sees Beau, just as her world turns to black.

**Author's Note:**

> The title comes from All Over You by The Spill Canvas.


End file.
